The Malted Lime Rind Rant

 Wow. I’ve already got more wrong picks than I thought I’d get all day…and the late games haven’t started yet. Here are the games I picked correctly:

• Bills over Dolphins
• Packers over Vikings
• Steelers over Browns

And the ones I didn’t:

• Chiefs over Broncos
• Saints over Rams
• Titans over Jaguars
• Redskins over Eagles
• Panthers over Falcons

Some picks for Week 10:

• Chiefs over Broncos
• Bills over Dolphins
• Packers over Vikings
• Steelers over Browns
• Saints over Rams
• Titans over Jaguars
• Redskins over Eagles
• Panthers over Falcons
• Ravens over Bengals
• Bears over Raiders
• Lions over Cardinals
• Giants over Cowboys
• Colts over Chargers
• Seahawks over 49ers

I’m also gonna say that at least 10 out of 14 (71.4%) will be right and hopefully 12 out of 14 (85.7%) will be correct.

This means that, with my 5 for 5 last week, I should be 15 for 19 (78.9%) and maybe 17 for 19 (89.5%) over two weeks.

Tuscola did as I said they would, winning at Mt. Olive today 49 to 27. The game was over in a brisk 2 hours and 10 minutes. Actually, the score should have been 49-14, but they scored twice in the final three minutes on our JV defense.

Arcola also won today (their second straight upset), and that means we host them this week. Winner plays for the state championship Thanksgiving weekend.

First, I’m gonna apologize to TCHS QB John Wienke, whose name I inadvertently omitted from a previous post (it’s now fixed).

Second, I’m gonna say that he does as good as he did last game, and the result’s gonna be the same as well: a victory.

Third, I’m gonna pick our ex-archrival Arcola to pull off another upset this week, so we can kick their ass next week to advance to the championship game.

And, fourth, but definitely not least: I’m crossing my fingers as I write this, because I don’t want to curse TCHS.

Ben Roethlisberger turned in a stellar performance last night, going 13-16 with 5 touchdowns. But TCHS QB and Michigan recruit John Wienke has him beat: 13 for 13 with 5 touchdowns and over 260 yds.

Unfortunately, I was not able to see Big Ben’s performance, as I had my first Scholastic Bowl meet of the year. I’m the captain on our varsity team (I was also varsity captain last year), and I’m only a sophomore (that’s right, I was a freshman varsity captain last year).

This is also our first year in the OVC (we were in the LOVC), and there are some big differences:

• 10 question halves (20 total) instead of 15 question halves (30 total)
• Jeopardy! level questions vs. 5th Grader level questions

Which means that it’s unlikely I’ll repeat my 49 tossups from last year (in 293 questions, for a 16.7 percentage) or my 57 tossups from practice this year (in 166 questions, for a 34.4 percentage).

In our first match, my brain was stuck in freeze, forgetting the list of authors I memorized last year for literary bonuses (and these are just the Russian ones):

• Tolstoy
• Chekhov
• Dostoyevsky (or something similar)

We only trailed by five, though, with one question to go, but they got the tossup. The bonus was math (calculus), and it was something like:

Given the equation f(x) = ax^4 + bx^3 + cx^2 + d (with some numbers replacing a, b, c, and d), find:

1. f` [the first derivative of f(x)]
2. f“ [the second derivative]
3. f“` [the third derivative]
4. f““ [the fourth derivative]

They called time immediately and passed. I was able to do the first two mentally (with only the equation on my paper), but at three and four, I somehow added an x or two. We lost by 5.

But we did win the second game, although I missed three of four math questions (I was off by a factor of ten on one, and had positive infinity when it was negative infinity).

Oh, yeah: in the first match, I nailed a bonus asking for the four teams in some NHL division, except for the Chicago Blackhawks. The answers:

• St. Louis Blues
• Nashville Predators
• Columbus Blue Jackets
• Detroit Red Wings

Let me just say that all I know about hockey is this: Barry Melrose has an awesome mullet.

And…all my picks came back to win. And Dallas is up 21-7 at halftime.

So far, it looks like a 4 for 4, barring tomorrow’s game. But I’m not going to assume it, because that would invoke a curse.

I picked the Browns to win. They’re about to get the ball, trailing by 5.

I picked the Pats to win. They’re about to score, and they’re currently trailing by 10.

I picked the Texans to win. And, as of now, they’re the only ones doing that. They’re up 14.

The Packers win. We’re 7-1 and in 1st place. Favre has now defeated every other NFL team in his career.

But all is not well. I kinda figured Detroit would win, but 44-7?! And Minnesota demolishing San Diego 35 to 17? Even the Bears escaped defeat, but only because they’ve got a bye.

ETA: Adrian Peterson sets single game record w/ 296 rushing yards. Hello, ROTY.

And hello, SD defense. You knew what was coming. Why didn’t you stop it? Maybe hold him to 250 yds?

If he keeps it up, he’ll be a 2,000 yd. rusher-as a rookie.

Crosby puts us up 26 to 22 with 1:40 left in the game. KC has no timeouts.

So why did we squib kick it?

ETA: Just as I posted this, Woodson returns an INT for a TD. Packers up 33-22 with :59 left.

Chiefs score a TD, and LJ pulls an act that’ll draw a fine on Monday. But,

1. KC kicks it OB.
2. Favre puts a bomb on the money.
3. We’re down inside their 15 yd. line w/ 3rd and 8.

Go Packers!!!!

Hawk with the pick. Jennings with the score. 13-7 Pack.

I go to the bathroom for a couple minutes, and when I get back, apparently Bigby’s interfered in the end zone after an INT. And once again, the curse of Chris strikes.

Crosby just missed a 52 yarder wide left on 4th and short. I agree with the decision to kick the FG there, even though it was a miss, but I could also make an argument for going for it.

Crosby just kicked his second FG of the second quarter, two plays after the two minute warning.

Most likely, it’ll be 6-0 at halftime, with GB getting the ball after the half.

Packers lead 3-0 right now over the Chiefs. As of now, we’re punting, and we’ve turned it over once on an INT and almost fumbled it away twice.

Jennings dropped a pass he usually catches on the drive that we scored on, and if he would have caught it, I guarantee you we would have scored a TD.

While I’m at it, picks for the late games:

• Browns over Seahawks
• Texans over Raiders
• Patriots over Colts
• Cowboys over Eagles
• Steelers over Ravens (MNF)

Just got back from our second round playoff game against Concordia. We went up 62-0 in the second, winning 62-8 (they scored against our JV defense). It was 48-0 at halftime.

In our previous two games, we won 55-0 and 60-0, and the 62-0 lead made it 177 consecutive points in eleven quarters, or 16.1 points/quarter.